Bella Begins…

Bella the Butterfly

Once upon a time there was a little girl who always felt alone, lost, shy, worried and fearful. Her thoughts consumed her and her words never completely expressed her emotions. She made herself ill time and time again from inner turmoil which bubbled inside her. She looked ‘normal’ on the outside but on the inside was so troubled and burdened. She felt the gazes of others and picked up on energies without knowing what was happening to her system. Pain and confusion were her familiar. She came across as vulnerable and was a prime target for bullies to take out their insecurities on her and she accepted this lot.

Her only peace was nature and space and lucky for her, she lived in paradise. Nature welcomed her, the sun, moon and stars understood her, the animals embraced her. She felt alive, accepted and serene in the open space … lying in the tall grasses, wandering through fields of wildflowers, touching the foliage sensing their presence, cradling ladybirds, wondering where butterflies go to, what birds feel with the wind propelling them, what thoughts centuries of mighty trees have and what thoughts they hear from others.

This girl always felt shy when interacting with other humans; animals were much easier, kinder, gentler. Several times she tried to use words to describe what she had seen in the spirit world but was quickly dismissed or laughed at. This rejection silenced her for many years. She continued to find peace in nature however blending into human existence became challenging as she didn’t want to stand out, be different, be the weirdo she was on the inside.

Her mother insisted her name was never shortened however her maternal grandmother, who the little girl was always very close to, mischievously called her ‘Bella’. Bella became a kind of code for who her true self was and who her grandmother knew existed beyond the façade she worked so hard at building.  Secretly the little girl loved the name Bella as it meant ‘beautiful’ and only her grandmother used it to refer to her lovingly.

When Bella was in her early teens and struggling with life and her difference, it was the words of her grandmother that brought her back from a dark place and towards her true self…’There is a place for everyone in this world’. The words echoed in Bella’s soul and they healed a long exposed wound as they were packaged with so much love, true intention, healing and light. It would be just eight short years later when her grandmother was killed in a road accident when Bella would use those same words of comfort to the driver of the car, who happened to be the same age as Bella at the time. The driver, distraught and beyond functioning, tried to die by suicide and when Bella heard this, she wrote him a letter with these healing words. As if her grandmother herself had embraced this young man with love, understanding and forgiveness…he replied with a beautiful letter of gratitude.

Bella coasted through her twenties in a long term relationship to the one guy who ever asked her out. The relationship was toxic and abusive. Bella truly believed no one else would have her, she didn’t deserve any better and besides she could fix him. She wanted to fulfill life’s formula of education + career + marriage + house + babies = happiness. In this toxic marriage she found the meaning of pure unconditional love in her two sons and then began to live for them. Then one day she found herself knee deep in domestic abuse, fearful every moment of every day, compliant and subservient, faking living, wearing masks, feigning happiness, lost, alone, broken. While on the ground spilling salty tears onto the tarmac in an unknown place, in the depths of night, locked out, listening to seagulls in a tearful melody with abrasive waves crashing at the rocks, she felts a warm gentle breeze and heard a whisper…’I deserve better’. She didn’t know where it came from or who said it but the whispers grew louder and in the following hours, days, weeks, years ahead those whispers became her mantra.

Mantras coupled with synchronicities, chance meetings of winks from the universe and Bella began her morphing into the butterfly she always knew she was. She broke free of the toxic marriage, stopped trying to please others, learned to listen to her gut, act from the heart space and started to fly freely. In this transformation space with two sons to hold, she found herself adjusting all learned tools and techniques to their separate needs. One boy lashed outwards in anger when trying to express his emotions; the other lashed out internally with anxiety and stress related pains. In this space Bella managed their varying emotions and thoughts through energy healing, meditation, mindfulness, massage, coaching, listening, loving.

Bella was re-born out of a love for her children and recognised her inner child’s pain in her two boys. Bella was determined to protect these two boys and give them the support she didn’t have when she was small to deal with their pain. She found her true self all over again through the suffering and challenges her children were going through. Then one day after she returned from a Reiki Master Teacher class, the boys asked in innocence what she learned in class? So, she started to translate all that she learned in their language.  One day driving home from one of these classes, Bella the Butterfly was born. It flowed from the angels direct – no re-write – beginning to end. In flow, Inspired, In Spirit. Bella the Butterfly became a beautiful meditation for children to assist calm and relaxation with the guides of Reiki. She decided to share it with the world.

Bella continued to transform herself and her boys in an evolutionary process which took time, tears, effort, trust, surrender, love, light. It would be another five years before Bella the Butterfly would become significant. Bella had attracted true love and was expecting her long awaited baby with her soul mate. It was the eve of the planned birth and her partner was populating the iPod with meditations, hypnosis, reiki music and other love songs for her to listen to during the birth. He asked if he would put Bella the Butterfly on the playlist and without thinking Bella said ‘no’. Then she had a re-think and agreed it should be on the list. The following day, the birth was a beautiful experience as Bella was in another world with all the beautiful meditations, reiki healing and music and then as the surgeon lifted the baby girl out of her womb, Bella the Butterfly was playing. The first name for the baby was always positive however they couldn’t agree on the second until that moment; her second name would also be Bella.

Bella the Butterfly was re-born again and Bella began to share Bella the Butterfly with the world with mindfulness classes for children in pre-schools, primary schools, after-schools, events with parents, talks, private sessions and more meditations inspired by the angels.

Bella holds special healing love for each and every child she comes in contact with either virtually or physically.

Bella continues to make a difference, embrace her weirdness, speak her truth, dance with life.

Bella’s three children inspire her everyday day to bring healing love and light to the world.

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https://www.facebook.com/bellathebutterflymindfulnes

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